Monday, July 10, 2006

Male Character

After reading a very good post on the subject of chivalry at http://www.onewaypurpose.com/2006/07/05/chivalry-in-a-modern-world/
I wanted to share an observation or two regarding the subject...first hand.

For the most part, I was raised to practice the simpler things of chivalry, such as door holding and plodding out in the rain to get the umbrella, while the females waited under cover. I'm from the South, had a decent Christian upbringing and would really be ashamed for not doing the things that a man should do. I have lived in a house with five females for thirteen years, until my son arrived seven years ago, which raised the odds a little...but we're still quite outnumbered. I make it a point to tell Mrs. Arkanblogger that her meals are delicious and do the same when my daughters, my mother, my mother-in-law and any other females in our out of our family, have put forth an effort to produce a meal, whether it may be one of my favorites, or a strange dish to me. My son, with my encouragement and explanations, now follows suit; even jumping the gun on me from time to time.

As the father of four daughters, ages eleven to eighteen, I have had cause to observe the behavior of young males, interacting with my girls in different settings. What I have seen is for the most part, disappointing. So many of these young fellows, who are mostly homeschooled and from "Christian" homes, don't do so much as hold a door at church for my children, much less any other female, young or old...unless they are trying to get the attention of a specific young lady. I have also observed these same boys doing no such thing for other females present.

On another hand, I have personally held the door many times in public for complete strangers and what I recieve about half the time is silence. The older generation of women (40 plus)seems to recognize these traits and will generally make it a point to thank me. The younger crowd has their head in the clouds...or the world...generally speaking.

Now, I want to point out that I don't do these things for the thank you. I do them because they should be done. But just as there should be an obligation on the part of men to engage in Chivalry, I believe that there should be a simple reciprocation of appreciativeness from the part of the reciever of the "blessing" of said Chivalry. Just as when someone recieves a a bit of unexpected good news and tells the giver of the news, "thank you". This I believe, could simply fall under the law of loving your neighbor as yourself. I also hold the door for older gentlemen, when I recognize that they might not have the strength to do it themselves. Let's engage in Chivalry, shall we?

-The Arkanblogger

6 comments:

Patrick said...

Mr. Arkanblogger, I hope that I'm not included in the set of "young males" of which you speak. :)

I have been a big proponent of chivarly for many years, probably because my father is such as well. Things such and holding doors, saying "please" and "thank you", "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am", etc., have become almost a second nature for me. I'm glad that you are teaching your son basic chivalry and manners. I wish that more fathers would do so; it would lessen the amount of doors that I get stuck holding open. ;)

In Christ,
Patrick

Arkanblogger Family said...

Hi Patrick-Thank you for the comments and great job on the performance last night. Glad we got to shake hands. You (according to reports from my daughters and their friends), are most certainly NOT in that group...and Mrs. Arkanblogger and I appreciate that second nature to which you referred. Those simple acts of virtue will lead to other selfless acts in times of peril. As a father, I think about that when my girls are away on these trips and I'm not there to watch after them. How many people will just stand by and let someone be abused or just turn their back and walk away?

It's also very important to me that my children treat others the way they want to be treated. They should take notice of chilvary and be outwardly thankful for it.


In Christ,

The Arkanblogger

Patrick said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the concert, and I'm honored that your daughters think so highly of me. You can rest assured that they are quite safe while on trips like the one we just returned from. Most of the young men that I've spoken to have the same values I do, they've just never been taught how to show them outwardly. I can honestly say that if anyone tried something, we'd be all over them like white on rice.

In Christ,
Patrick

David McCrory said...

Chivarly existed in a time when virtues such as honesty, fidelity and trustworthyness meant something. A man could be taken at his word.

These are all principles grounded in biblical truth. As Christians, we should live by these principles regardless of our our culture around us views them.

Thank you for the post.

Connie said...

AMEN - they should teach chivarly in school (and church) instead of "character education" and the other rot they "teach". I recently took our grandmother to the doctor at a clinic that does not have automatic doors. When leaving, I struggled to get her through the door in her wheelchair and a "man" walked through in front of us and let the door shut in our faces! Thankfully, after I got her to the car, a REAL man helped me get into the car. So, THANK YOU and God bless all you real men who realize that we really are the "weaker" partner.

God's Blessings,
Connie

Connie said...

Sorry, but I had another thought on this. In my opinion, we women have the so-called feminists to thank for the decline in men's behavior. We who were born in the 1960's were brought up to be independent and were taught not to trust any man. The "anything you can do I can do better" is one of the biggest lies we were ever fed. We have brought curses on ourselves with Roe v. Wade, equal rights, etc. We have told men that "we don't need you" and so we
are now reaping what was sown. That's what happens when we ignore the laws of God.

Connie